BACKYARD BURIALS
Read Time: 3 min 20 sec
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.”
Elisabeth Elliot
THE GOOD STUFF
BACKYARD BURIALS
by Betsy James | Member at Redeemer
O Lord, all my longing is before you. - Psalm 38:9a
These words, from Psalm 38 are the words I recited as I knelt in my backyard - palm opened and sprinkled with wildflower seeds; My prayer as I dropped the seeds in the dirt and covered them over day after day. This new routine was birthed out of necessity. It is time to kill my pet sins - these sins I have nurtured and kept and loved - but my heart is stubborn and slow to turn and I figured visual aids couldn't hurt.
For the past few years, I've been having a worship problem. I LOVE to worship! I'm a natural - we all are on some level - and this is only problematic when I get confused about Who/what I am supposed to be worshipping. Prone to wander...Lord, I feel it. Since giving our hearts to the wrong gods leads to all sorts of soul-sickness (not to mention space issues...idols take up so much room!)... I want to get back on track, but how?
This series on the Beatitudes has provided a good map of how to begin – at the very least, a list of things to ask for when I pray. Lord, I see that I am poor in spirit, please help me to truly mourn my sin and to hunger for righteousness. Please help my heart long to see You more than it longs for anything else….
Halfway through the summer, my backyard planter is bursting with wildflower mayhem and I have noticed some new dreams beginning to spring up in my heart as well. I have more excitement about reaching out to my neighbors and renewed joy in parenting and discipleship but I have also noticed that the idols I have buried keep climbing out of the dirt and sitting back down on the throne of my heart. I guess that’s what happens when you bury things that are alive. It is a humbling and terrifying discovery – the reality that we cannot kill our own sin.
As Pastor Brian was preaching about the pure in heart seeing God and I was coming to terms with the fact that I am not strong enough to defeat my idols, the Lord brought to my mind the following passage from 1 Samuel 5:
"And when the people of Ashdod rose early the next day, behold, Dagon had fallen face downward on the ground before the ark of the LORD. So they took Dagon and put him back in his place. But when they rose early on the next morning, behold, Dagon had fallen face downward on the ground before the ark of the LORD, and the head of Dagon and both his hands were lying cut off on the threshold. Only the trunk of Dagon was left to him."
Whoa.
What if I don’t have to battle these idols day after day? What if I only have to bring myself so near to the presence of God that all of the idols inside me have no choice but to fall down before Him? Is this what it means to abide??? (I suspect the Lord and I will be having some conversations on that subject in the near future.)
I don't know how to grow the right kinds of desires. I can control my actions - and I know I am responsible for my thoughts, words, behaviors, etc. - but the root problem is that my heart often wants the wrong things. And how do you change your longings? How do you force yourself to desire rightly? The short answer is: you can't. We need God to do this, and so there seems to be a mysterious partnership in this process of sanctification. God does all the heavy lifting, but I still have a role to play. He does the raising up, I do the laying down...but even in this step I need His help. Sheesh. At least I am crushing "poor in spirit"...
As I continue to learn what this collaboration looks like, I want to keep kneeling and planting and praying that God would help me to crucify and bury my sin so that He can raise new things in me - new dreams in me. Dreams that are aligned with His heart. Dreams that bear good fruit for His kingdom.
It's a messy, two steps forward, one step back process in which I draw near, Jesus crushes my idols, I plant those "seeds" in the backyard and wait with sanctified longing for Him to raise something wild and new and good.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
- Hebrews 4:16
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Look At the Book
We must know how to study the Bible. It's not just a matter of reading our Bibles in the sense that we see the ink on the page and can understand the words, but do we see how these words are working together to communicate the reality that God wants us to see? Do we know how to really study our Bibles?
John Piper's segments he calls "Look at the Book" or "LAB," have been a tremendous gift in sharpening my Bible study. We basically get to watch how Piper interacts and exegetes a passage in front of him. Watching his LAB work will equip you for better Bible study. As we continue in the book of Ephesians this Sunday, take a look at his LAB on an overview of Ephesians chapters 1-3.
Brock Graham | Lead Pastor